discussion

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I created this page for people to start their own threads and discussions. You are very welcome to do so, but please do not incriminate anyone and try to avoid anything which might be triggering or distressing to others. Boarding Concern, Boarding Concern and Boarding School Survivors all offer help and support to people who are struggling with the effects of boarding, unfortunately I am not in a position to be able to offer that as I do not have the training or time. Sadly at present I am unable to moderate this page. SF

680 thoughts on “discussion

  1. I have a memory of my first lesson at that school. I had a teacher called Mrs Brown, very young and pretty. And she said,to the whole class, “Now I want you to think of me as your mother, girls. Because you will see me for two thirds of the year and your mother for only a third”. And I remember a rage in me for having this spelled out so clearly. And a rebel in my head said “you’ll never replace my mother” but it was nevertheless a really hard thing to hear, being so young and still traumatised by the separation. Funny the particular things we choose to remember.

  2. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41449299
    I can’t seem to post 2 links together so each needs a separate post
    This is hitting the press today. It’s a complete hypocrisy for Archbishop Welby to attack the BBC when he himself has failed so many in the church. Paedophiles he was friendly with are still in hiding. Why doesn’t Archbiship Welby condemn them? Outright. It was within his remit to set up an open public inquiry to establish facts about abuse within the CofE but he never did it. So how hypocritical! The Iwerne Trust held its summer HQ Bash Camps at Clayesmore which is where its name comes from. Iwerne Minster, near Blandford Forum. I bet he wishes he stayed put in his oil company now! What breathtaking hypocrisy to attack BBC! “Muscular Christianity”. The very concept makes me feel sick!

  3. Regarding the BBC and the Church of England, It has been reported in the press this morning that a specialist abuse lawyer at Slater and Gordon has said: “Both organisations have been guilty of appalling failings in terms of safe-guarding children and neither should be pointing the finger at the other.”

      • If that specialist abuse lawyer is Richard Scorer of S&G then you should know SP has been rejected by them even as a group action.
        Whereas Savile was also dead, the evidence was fresher and of a higher quality, so the odds far more promising in that particular case.

  4. I am so angry at the way siblings, who can be the mouthpiece for their family members, are so consistently overlooked. Whereas parents might selectively choose not to remember the complaints made by their offspring in childhood the sibling remembers the suffering and, in my case, both feels and shares it. They are sort of in it too, if the siblings are close. And not being an actual victim means you are definitely never heard when your evidence might actually be the most valuable and perceptive and you are able to speak out about it long before the actual victims, and particularly of historic CSA, are able to. Ever.

  5. Mental Health Support in this country is in such a dreadful state. One can be so brave in expressing one’s own story but this constant overlooking of non victims is inexcusable. Victim Support should be there for anyone who needs it. I hope anyone from this blog who has sought it has been far more fortunate than I. Nothing but phone numbers …. passing the buck more like.

    • Failing to provide the promised and much needed support for victims “converts” a societal problem into a personal one. You are on your own. The cost of private therapy can be prohibitive so, as Philip Larkin wrote, “man passes misery to man, it deepens like a coastal shelf.”

  6. This is why I was trying so hard, before it was too late, to see if the Lindsays’ estate could be used for the support of their victims. Because they never paid for their crimes and thousands suffered at their hands/in their “care” for sure. It is incredibly expensive, the cost of long term psychotherapy which is what is required. And thousands are being spent on training new therapists to work with the rehabilitation of paedophiles …. whilst nothing is spent on care for their victims. Cost of a prison inmate I suppose makes the maths effective. It is a complete disgrace!

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