2 thoughts on “on love, birthdays, crying etc…

  1. Anyone who had a Heart ….

    Congratulations to all who took part in this recent article in the FeMail – a fine opportunity for putting the case against early boarding.

    However, I am also worried by how the right-wing newspapers seem to to give attention from time time to time and wonder if there isn’t some other agenda. The modern way of addressing a demonstration is to “kettle” is – in other words to shove the protest down one street and keep it there.

    How might this article have settled us? The half-way house about boarding that ‘balanced’ debate and some cautious boarding experts can frequent is that some children get traumatised at boarding and that the youngest always fare worst. This article has such assertions supported by pictures of young children looking already unsure of the world.

    My own position is that all children have to survive boarding and that this itself is a trauma. Besides, the cruelty of children in bogus authority roles such as prefects when they are seventeen or eighteen is something you have to witness or experience to believe. If you haven’t yourself been subject to the whims of such entitled little monsters in your own childhood then have a look William Boyd’s early TV masterpiece ‘Good and Bad at Games’ (1983) directed by Jack Gold . (Thanks to Victoria Childs for this link).

    The first two episodes on You Tube should suffice. There you see the rank contempt for anyone who is in a junior and servile role bred into the boys by the society of boys themselves. You will find the bullying horrific, but I assure this is the most realistic portrayal of how things are at public school ever shown.

    And this training has an enduring legacy on out society. Tony Blair is a permanent prefect type, with his entitled attitudes of superior knowledge (“I did what I believed was right”) and unmarked contemned for the soft, wet, unworldly caring attitudes of the junior, boys who inevitably get feminised or objectified (in the film Cox is called “Animal”) before they are brutally attacked for being who they are. Already terminally disgraced by being unable to apologise for his weapons of mass destruction deployed in 45 minutes that cost so many lives, including, tragically, that of Dr David Kelly – who should never be forgotten – http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/10192271/The-betrayal-of-Dr-David-Kelly-10-years-on.html

    Blair just cannot resist a put-down. This week he suggested that anyone who wants to support the ordinary man of the people, caring, non-charismatic, Jeremy Corbyn should have their heart transplanted!

    Would it be uncharitable to suggest that Tony had his removed many years ago? Probably. And it was unlikely to have been his fault, but he seems to have deliberately refused to put one back again, when one would imagine he has earned enough since quitting to employ the finest surgeon in the world. So lets remember on where he learned such entitled putdowns – it is just the kind of remarked learned in the prefects’ study: see ‘Good and Bad at Games’ if you haven’t witnessed this kind of thing yourself, but don’t expect to sleep the night after.

    This is a perfect example why we should be dismantling these training grounds for Wounded Leaders and those who think the damage is only to those who are sent away very young or very vulnerable might consider thinking again.

    Watch Boyd’s play but you might be advised to have a transplant first because if not you may be overwhelmed with grief for what we have done and what we are still ding to the flower of our youth.

  2. The third ‘kettling’ tactic – that I forgot to mention – is to suggest that all the problems of boarding were in the past. At Boarding School Survivors we are getting increasing enquiries from people of all ages including school leavers, but this piece focus on the over-sixties and very subtly makes a point that it is all in the bad old days, unfortunately.

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