maintaining your innocence

Thought I would share this article about Eton Headmaster Tony Little saying how good single sex education is:

As a woman who is in the bizarre situation of spending most of her time living and working with men who were raised in a single-sex environment it makes for fascinating reading. The idea that if during your formative years you were deprived of female company you could ‘be yourself for longer’ is, to me,  incredible. But maybe I’m just a pesky woman trying to corrupt you…

3 thoughts on “maintaining your innocence

  1. I went to a single sex boarding school. After puberty testosterone charged post pubescent boys who had no access to girls harassed pre pubescent boys…who were often cute and androgynous.. for physical affection ranging from aggressive “frottage” to all sorts of other demands..often accompanied by forms of bruising bullying which gave them physical proximity. After leaving school at 16 I was painfully shy amongst girls and put them on an unhealthy pedestal…also…because I had been effectively abandoned by my mother at an early age I became “clingy” and suffered from extreme fear of abandonment. I am 64 now and am still suffering!

  2. I find Tony Little’s arrogance breathtaking. He sincerely believes that he can “improve” on natural growth and emotional development by distorting the social environment of boys and young men.

    Quite apart from the psychological damage that his experiment will inflict on individuals in his “care”, there is the terrible damage to our national culture caused by this kind of imperialism. It’s obsolete. It’s time we were shot of it.

  3. In similar vein to Meatgrinder…

    I escaped boarding school when rumours of sexual abuse reached my parents. The rumours were probably untrue, I never found out. But I was removed.

    But I also was utterly unequipped for a mixed comprehensive school. I didn’t know what to make of girls.I seem to have missed an important part of growing up. I never had a girlfriend at school. Nor in the College where I learned my IT skills. Nor in my working life.

    I had friends though taking up rock climbing, and we’d have some fine times, getting rowdy and wild together. But it was as if there was bulletproof glass between me and any desirable women. That was for the others, not me. That was just not a thing. Not to be considered. I was ugly. Too thin. Too shy. Too awkward. I’ve always hated my appearance anyway. In my early twenties, though outwardly looking successful having taken to the software development industry, I was utterly miserable.

    I felt like an outsider. Looking back, I was probably a functioning alcoholic. At parties, all I could do was reach the state of incapacity as fast as possible to drown out the inescapable fact of my undesirability and my aloneness when all around were getting together.

    I met my wife through a dating agency. We are totally unsuited. But I’m still with her decades later. We hardly even talk. I still hate myself, my looks and my body. I feel like a second rate man. An omega. To make up for it, I do physical exercise to the extreme. Weight training, gymnastics, climbing, rowing, cycling. I beat other men, and it makes me feel better for a short while. Until it’s over. I have a job which pays me much more than I’m worth, have a great house in the country, drive a great car. But I hate myself and feel that I am a failure and damaged goods.

    My life has been an entire waste.

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